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Rating: 3 of 5 stars
17-year-old Vicky Hernandez has a big problem. She’s dead. Or not quite. After discovering she’s been turned into a vampire, she tries to settle into a quiet suburb of Chicago and return to a normal life.
If only she could stop wanting to bite her boyfriend. Not to mention she is dying to find out who turned her, and why. She doesn’t have to wait long before they come to her.
Bloody Little Secrets had a lot going for it from the get-go. Bewildered Vicky Hernandez makes quick work of arising from her own grave to find a not-so-nice visitor trying to order her around. Oh, and to a new thirst that makes humans smell rather moutherwatering. She’s been turned into a vampire, mwahahha.
The number one most likeable factor about this book is without question Vicky’s voice. Her inner monologue was lighthearted, authentic, straightforward and fun. Thanks to her diction, it was easy to not take the book too seriously, but by the same token her situation is pretty tragic. She’s just trying to make the best of it, and we are taken along for the ride through her simple yet satisfying humor. So I’m just gonna pepper my review with it, k?
Another vampire fact: vampires would definitely roast in the sunshine. But in one book I read, they sparkled. So I would either die a horrible death OR sparkle. I really hoped I didn’t sparkle.
Now, typically, narration like that makes me wanna puke because it’s so overdone that it’s stifling. I can practically see the author on the other side of the writing cheering to themselves, “Hm, that sounds like something a teenager would say. Cool.” And it’s so often not the case. Ah, gahd.
Thank fuck for believability.
I glanced down at the calendar on the counter as I approached. November 1. So I’d returned from the dead on October 31st? Really? Ugh, that was so cliché.
Vicky, doing her best to make light of shitty circumstances, makes her way to Chicago and tries to begin a new life. Enter, Drake and company. Drake is prolly the most realistic sweetheart I’ve come across in a book, ever. He’s not overdone, he’s not sugarcoated, he’s not exaggerated; he’s the perfect ratio of typical high school senior to curious boyfriend of a vampire. I wanted to see him and Vicky just be together a little more, but then that would discount the little interruption of other vampires hot on Vicky’s trail…
There were a couple of restaurants, a dry cleaner, and a sign that read Urgent Healthcare. Sweet. At least there was somewhere for me to eat.
Because, of course, a sweet little story like Bloody Little Secrets can’t be all gum drops and lollipops! But again, of course, Vicky’s pretty badass in her own right, so she makes quick work of the first couple of evil vampires who are trying to abduct her and take her to the
King of Vampires Big Bad, Steven.
The most prominent color in [Sue’s] house was beige, or varying levels of it. I’m sure some were called taupe or khaki. It was all beige to me. The only color was in the pillows on the furniture. Bright, non-matching cushions were neatly places [sic] across the surface of the beige couch. So maybe Sue was somewhat adventurous, but didn’t want to get too carried away.
Life goes on until some real shit goes down, then it’s up to Vicky’s friends, who she’s been protecting this whole time, to go to her rescue.
(Might I just say, it was a little far-fetched, but damn was their rescue awesome.)
“Oh, well, I’m a bit of an underachiever compared to that then. I go to school and I work. I play a little guitar, but nothing I would torture anyone with. And on occasion, when I’m in the mood, I can throw down a mean poem.”
-Drake, p. 131
As far as Vicky’s story goes, I have to applaud Kirkpatrick’s refusal to go a little heavyhanded on the pity party portion of her life. I mean, yeah, she has to leave it all behind because her family thinks she’s dead (and, yeah, she technically is, but you get the picture), but she makes things better for herself without ever once feeling sorry for herself. She pressed on, and I think that makes her a pretty strong character even in the context of such a blithe story.
“Is that all you think of me as — some kind of slutty vampire?”
“You did give me your blood on the first date,” he said […].
-Vicky and Drake, p. 253
In the end, Bloody Little Secrets is an effortlessly effervescent PG-13 journey through one exceptional vampire’s high-tide afterlife, and I’d recommend this to anyone who has a free hour or two to get taken along for a ride.