Image Posted on Updated on
Series: House of Night #1
Rating: 1 of 5 stars/DNF
The House of Night series is set in a world very much like our own, except in 16-year-old Zoey Redbird’s world, vampyres have always existed. In this first book in the series, Zoey enters the House of Night, a school where, after having undergone the Change, she will train to become an adult vampire — that is, if she makes it through the Change. Not all of those who are chosen do. It’s tough to begin a new life, away from her parents and friends, and on top of that, Zoey finds she is no average fledgling. She has been Marked as special by the vampyre Goddess, Nyx. But she is not the only fledgling at the House of Night with special powers. When she discovers that the leader of the Dark Daughters, the school’s most elite club, is misusing her Goddess-given gifts, Zoey must look deep within herself for the courage to embrace her destiny–with a little help from her new vampyre friends.
So honestly if there were a “No Stars—Hated It with a Fiery Passion” option, best believe I’d be all over it.
Zoey is supposed to e a 16-year-old girl who gets her life turned upside-down after a Tracker “vampyre” Marks her with a stupid blue crescent moon on her forehead which somehow activates a strand of “Junk DNA” or something…
But what really is going on is a mother and daughter got together and had a terrible idea and executed it terribly and have given me the utmost potential for nightmares based off terrible writing skills tonight.
I was hoping that after struggling with Scar Night (Alan Campbell), which is dense and a little uninteresting and therefore kinda like wading trough mud when I read, coming over to a novel of lesser calibre would at least be readable to some degree. More so than Scar Night, right?
My husband, who does not even read books for recreational purposes, glanced at the first line before I’d had the chance to, and he told me, “Wow I already hate this book. I know you’re going to hate it.” After the first SENTENCE. That must be a record.
I would call Zoey a black hole, but that’s giving her far too much credit, and as I fancy astrophysical bodies, concepts and the like, it would serve as a poor representation of my perception of her. But that’s what she is—a black fucking hole of a human. Everything is everyone else’s fault. Her life sucks—it’s her family’s fault. Her love life sucks—it’s her boyfriend’s fault. She gets Marked—she doesn’t know whose fault it is, but is ain’t hers! She says, a few times, “This wasn’t done because of me! It was done TO me!”
Cry me a fucking river, you damn child.
And her whole life being shit—yeah, it’s just an excuse to facilitate her transition to a student if the House of Night. When she gets knocked out after being Marked and wakes up, realizing what’s happened, she isn’t worried that she will die, that she will never be a human again—it’s that she WON’T FIT IN ANYMORE.
It’s entirely too… facile. And motherfucking insipid to boot. I’m sparing myself before I lose anymore brain cells to contemplating this piddle.
Don’t even get me started on Heath’s drinking (he’s shamed for guzzling beers—please!) and the blatant slut-shaming (aka “the biggest ho in school,” doesn’t even pause when it applies to her own sister as well). I just mind lose my marbles.
DOES NOT COMPUTE. PROGRAM TERMINATED. DID NOT FINISH.