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Series: Throne of Glass #1
Rating: 2.5 of 5 stars
Meet Celaena Sardothien.
Beautiful. Deadly. Destined for greatness.
In the dark, filthy salt mines of Endovier, an eighteen-year-old girl is serving a life sentence. She is a trained assassin, the best of her kind, but she made a fatal mistake: she got caught.
Young Captain Westfall offers her a deal: her freedom in return for one huge sacrifice. Celaena must represent the prince in a to-the-death tournament—fighting the most gifted thieves and assassins in the land. Live or die, Celaena will be free. Win or lose, she is about to discover her true destiny. But will her assassin’s heart be melted?
If there was ever a word that could effectively encapsulate and epitomize my feelings about this novel, it would have to be FRUSTRATION. Seriously nothing else can compare. The entire time I was reading this book, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated by it.
By Celaena, who seemed to delight in making everyone around her (to, breaking the fourth wall, include the reader) dislike her. By Dorian, whose point of view I felt had absolutely no place in this book other than to double its length by rehashing scenes with Celaena through his sometimes retrospective contemplations. By Chaol, who I absolutely adored but received next to nil airtime even though he deserved so much more. By Lady Kaltain, who, other than to mention headaches and scheme behind people’s backs – poorly, at that – added to the already overwhelming pool of unnecessary perspectives the narration offered. By the surprise emphasis on fae and magic, with whom I didn’t expect this book to have anything! As a matter of fact, I have a bone to pick with that point all on its own.
The premise of this book is boiled down to the question of Celaena’s heart being “melted” in the midst of a to-the-death tournament according to the synopsis. What is the novel really about? It’s about magic, a conquering tyranny of a kingdom, a rebellion, evil, a competition (not a to-the-death tournament – the King literally tells the Champions dueling not to kill each other,jeez) and a spoiled prince’s pursuit of an assassin who participates in this competition. The synopsis will not prepare you for what’s going on inside – and not in a good way, either. It wholly misrepresents the entire novel with an overreaching, nauseating emphasis on – dun dun dun – the romance.
Which, speaking of, why the hell is there one at all? Crown Prince Dorian shared as much air time as the primary protagonist Celaena, and it absolutely drove me fuckin’ nuts. I expected him to woo her, maybe “fall in love” with her, whatever, but holy crap on a wedding cake, I didn’t expect the love affair to span the entire novel – all to result in basically nothing. And, mind you, while I’m not even interested in the guy. He seemed really gross and creepy to me; no telling why Celaena went for his silly banters and jibes. It’s Chaol I wanted more of – Captain of the Guard Chaol Westfall, thank you very much – and that poor guy just got dissed like none other. That was mostly okay, though, because she annoyed the shit out of him, and I don’t blame him. Like I said before, Celaena seemed dead set on wanting to make even the people who should’ve liked her most find her distasteful.
Speakin’ of, “Young Captain Westfall offers her a deal”? No, don’t think so. Crown Prince Dorian definitely offered her that deal. What the fuck is wrong with this synopsis?
But you know what, I don’t everything on that because, really… it deserves it. The synopsis makes it seem like it’s befitting of the cover above and yet you open up the book and all of a sudden it makes perfect sense why the U.S. cover designers went for something a little more suitable for the narrative:
Anyway, all in all, this book is not what I expected, and that didn’t bode well for this book because I expected to love it. I read countless reviews that raved – and I mean raved, y’all. I’ve never seen so many scream the praises of a badass female lead from the hilltops like I did with Throne of Glass. It was honestly unforgettable. But somehow I managed to come out the underdog this time around, (as usual with well-received books, huh?).
The thing is, I’m still ever so frustrated by this book because, uninteresting though it may have been, due to the things that happened in this book, I am seriously curious as to what could happen in the next book! So, yeah, I’m definitely gonna continue this series, hopefully with better things to report with the next one, but honestly I’m just glad to be done readin’ it. It took me a month and a half to read less than 400 pages – now that’s really somethin’. Glad I can finally move on. I’m on vacation, and this is my time to do all kinds of serial reading I never have the same time for the rest of the year. :]
Also, since it’s 2300 on New Year’s Eve, here’s a nice little HAPPY NEW YEAR and WELCOME 2014 from Caps Lock Thinks (while in Georgia)! See y’all on the other side.